I'm confused_---_

Fuel Cafe, August 21st, 2015

Logan is a summer barista and college student in the midst of applying to transfer. He is bright-eyed and good-natured and I sensed a poem in him. His first poem left it all vague. I decided to push him a little, to see if he could dig deeper. I had in mind his upcoming application. I had in mind my own poetry too. I suggested he jot down lines as he worked, and I would do the same. We both wrote poems. Today we discussed the difference between perceived demeanor and one’s internal workings – what we do and do not reveal. I suggested he write another poem, that I would too. Here are Logan’s poems in reverse chronology. Is the first one the best? Or the third? Or?

I’m confused by the
     female mind.
  my sisters,
  my lovers,
  my mother,
All asking something
     of me
That I cannot give.
Or perhaps it is rather,
I am confused with
    what I want.
I am nauseous from
my interactions
And more
    incapable than
trapped in a loneliness
    that seems unending
This is, perhaps,
The constant human
That we must enjoy.

Poem 2
question after question
repeating the habit
     of smiling.
Evading awkwardness
   with meaningless
and dreading the
    smell of old
I’m hungry but
    don’t want to
So hectic in
almost every way
I’m shaking in
the chaos
and possible

Old friends all
It’s almost overwhelming.
Always the same
It is overwhelming.
Almost as though I’m
trapped in a bad dream
   of the past
and the questions go fully

Poem 1

It’s all a never ending thought-
Mulling over what’s right,
what i want,
what they want,
And reminding myself
It is stupid to think too much.

Read a poem by Christina C and Juan R.

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