I am a ghost of everything I knew and loved
Cafe, March 26th, 2017
I sat next to Rob in a cafe. He was drawing a portrait of a woman. He showed me some of his earlier work – portraits and vacant-eyed rabbits with graphic novel-style statements about self-perception. We chatted about art, about his situation, about “giving up.” I found out that Rob has been homeless for 2.5 years. He stays on friends’ couches. There are mentions of struggles in his notebooks. He is self-possessed, bright, articulate and glaringly self-aware. I gave him a new notebook I had purchased for the next poem collection. The next morning I read his poem (I don’t read them in front of the writer). I was astonished. Saddened too. Rob is an aspiring artist. He is self taught. You can see more of his art here. Consider buying one of his drawings or commissioning a poem. There’s a contact page on the site.

I am a ghost of everything I knew and loved
My presence only sensed by my shadow. I am a
dismissed, cold, empty feeling. Always on the run; always
moving. Places pass through me. I silently carry their
weight.

I am everywhere, with everyone. Still, my shadow
follows. there are few can see me. Their eyes,
have such beautiful abilities. Still their limbs
collapse through me. For those fleeting moments
my shadow is as invisible as I am. Sanctuary
eludes me. I repeat to myself ‘Ain’t No home if you’re
always moving.’ Keep moving, keep running…

Read a poem by Jackie F.

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